clearance rack

I’m not going to call you Hollywood, because we all know, nothing’s actually made in Hollywood these days. However, I need to make two things clear to the people making movies:

1) If you don’t have the money to make the movie the right way, don’t make it at all. I know you think you read this really fantastic book and need to share your vision for it with the world. However, if the only bankroll you have is your maxed-out credit cards, don’t make the movie. Save some coin and get good people on the project. Not your cousin Evan and his Handicam.

2) Don’t remake good movies. Ever. It’s blasphemous toward the original, even if the original sucked. Bad News Bears should never have been remade. Longest Yard? No. Yours, Mine, and Ours? Come on, it had Lucille Ball and a young Tim Matheson. Stop the madness. (With the exception of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… but that wasn’t a remake - the original was Willy Wonka…)

That is all for today, Moviemakers. But I’m watching you - you and your USC film school baseball cap. Don’t think I won’t come kick some ass if you try to remake Breakfast at Tiffany’s (most likely with Hilary Duff and Justin Timberlake).

i’ve always been a slave to target marketing - total bullseye on my back - abercrombie made me their bitch, i’m a label whore, and a brand flasher - i don’t like that this is the case, but i can’t break myself of it - it’s the environment in which i grew up

as a terrible manifestation of this, i have low sales resistance - i can be talked into anything… cases in point from today

i’ve grown slothlike, now that i’m not going to the gym every and staying in shape to play lacrosse, even if it’s for one alumni game a year - however, grad school has eaten all of my free time, and i am now grossly overweight and not pleased… so i decided to switch to an off-campus gym that actually has decent equipment - i hit ‘powerhouse gym’ by the union office - and of course, when i check it out, i meet the ridiculously hot guy who works there, who’s a B’s fan, and who basically talks me into joining… what a sucker i am

then later, after mat and his wife sarah and i go for dinner and beers, we decide to get ice cream (hence why i am a fatass) - i have my mind set on an old-school cake cone, but in my brain, all i can think is “sugar cone”… so what comes out? “waffle cone” - and i totally accept that i am a dumbass and ordered the wrong thing rather than risk upsetting the delicate order of the ice cream shop

again, what a sucker

i gotta remember not to eat big breakfasts when i need to be productive… jacque called me about 9.21am, waking me up, and conned me into going for breakfast at the best dive in lansing, golden harvest… this place is tiny, a little scary, and filled with “regulars” - including city workers who are most definitely ‘on the clock’ - but they have the best greasy breakfasts this side of pharo’s truck stop in shippensburg, pa

the reason i shouldn’t eat giant portions of eggs, homefries, bacon, and toast for breakfast is not because i currently 15 pounds over my lacrosse weight - it’s because, for the rest of the day, i am in a state of bleary-eyed lethargy where all i can do is slobber on my powerbook and answer simple questions in mono-syllabic grunts… i spent the day at the union office, completely worthless, and now sit here waiting for the pawn shop dudes to deliver us a new (used) couch - this, this is living the high life

so this is truly the third time i’ve tried to blog, and i just realized after completing the setup - i just picked the lamest ‘theme’ ever - sure, i’ll take grey and more grey… maybe some nice stone with anthracite accents

i haven’t decided where i’m going with this blog - hell, i can’t even decide if i’m going to do this weird combination of mechanical errors, or i’ll put thought into my posts… i’m guessing they’ll be more like rants…

now that i’ve expended all of my energy, i’ll just say this: i found a new contender for my top ten places to drink beer: on the terrace outside the wisconsin union as the sun sets on lake mendota