Dear People Making Movies
I’m not going to call you Hollywood, because we all know, nothing’s actually made in Hollywood these days. However, I need to make two things clear to the people making movies:
1) If you don’t have the money to make the movie the right way, don’t make it at all. I know you think you read this really fantastic book and need to share your vision for it with the world. However, if the only bankroll you have is your maxed-out credit cards, don’t make the movie. Save some coin and get good people on the project. Not your cousin Evan and his Handicam.
2) Don’t remake good movies. Ever. It’s blasphemous toward the original, even if the original sucked. Bad News Bears should never have been remade. Longest Yard? No. Yours, Mine, and Ours? Come on, it had Lucille Ball and a young Tim Matheson. Stop the madness. (With the exception of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… but that wasn’t a remake - the original was Willy Wonka…)
That is all for today, Moviemakers. But I’m watching you - you and your USC film school baseball cap. Don’t think I won’t come kick some ass if you try to remake Breakfast at Tiffany’s (most likely with Hilary Duff and Justin Timberlake).
July 30th, 2005 at 6:23 am
Matthew, I love that your textual self-indulgence exceeds mine. Stop whining and come have a drink with me before I leave next week. I lost your phone number. Okay, that’s a lie. I never write phone numbers down to begin with. I just hope that they’ll stay in my cell phone record long enough for me to use them. Obviously, you haven’t called me in a while. Guess you’ve been too busy with your new toy blog.
July 30th, 2005 at 7:24 pm
self-indulgence, indeed